Brain transplant

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.”

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, “How much will a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a Democrat’s brain; Only $200 for a Republican’s brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to ‘try’ to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans.

A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the  Democrat’s brain so much more than a Republican’s brain?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans’ brains a lot lower because of wear and tear since they’ve  actually been used.”


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58 Responses to Brain transplant

  1. Donkey says:

    Well that there just makes common sense. But then you think about it and I’m not sure I’d try and give em more for the used brain, that’s republican or democrate. You take your best tools in your garage and I’d pay more for my screwdriver than a brand new one from some chinamen.

  2. Freedom Fries Eater says:

    I guess it’d depend on if that Screwdriver was a Craftsman or made with orange juice.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Yes, I do imagine the two neurons on a Republican’s brain must get a lot of action. What with them bodily functions and everything,…

  4. Freedom Fries Eater says:

    take that back or I’ll wipe you from this comment thread.

    • Anonymous says:

      You’ll wipe him from this comment thread??? Oh no, what a nightmare!

      • Freedom Fries Eater says:

        The only nightmare is the Obama presidency. Or should I call it the Obama reign? YOU make the call. you just got schooled.

        • Anonymous says:

          i think you may be confused about what “got schooled” means.

        • Freedom Fries Eater says:

          No. I know what “got schooled” means. maybe we should update the saying to “got private schooled,” because we all know the public screwl doesn’t teach crap anymore.

  5. irken infantry says:

    what a load of shit. it cost less because it’s defective. anyone who denies climatology, the theory of evolution and support making rape illegal is a giant a$$-whipe and deserves to have his brain replaced with chicken sh@t. I mean, if they want to learn something.

  6. irken infantry says:

    whoops, not rape.. I meant making abortion illegal. damn auto correct you’ve got me again…

    • Freedom Fries Eater says:

      First off, you are wrong. Climate change is a myth perpretated by the left-wing elite gotcha media, macro-evolution is fake (just ask my favorite scientist–Kent Hovind) because the earth is 6000 years old, and abortion is murder, hence it is illegal. Maybe you wouldn’t be such an A$$wipe if you weren’t so bitter about how you’ve been brainwashed by your liberal professors and left-wing media.

      • Altair says:

        Brainwashed you say? Republicans are, as a majority, christian and taught to believe what other people tell them and not to think or research for themselves the answers to any questions they may have. The very core of brainwashing is believing what other people tell you, not finding things out for yourself.

      • Anonymous says:

        LMAO the earth is 6000 years old. i’m hoping that was a satirical comment. the kind of people who believe the earth is 6000 years old and say so using a F(*%ING COMPUTER are the kind of people who it’s surprising have a nervous system that allows for breathing. to deny science with regards to the earth’s age and to then use the fruits of science to denounce science is ironic in the most painful way. it would be hilarious if it weren’t so tragic.

      • Nara King says:

        Not sure if satirical.. or serious.

      • Anonymous says:

        Hovind, the “scientist” so extreme that even OTHER Creationists think he’s ridiculous??

        Isn’t he the guy who is offering $250k to anyone who can “prove evolution”? It’s going to be hard for him to write that check while he is is serving his 10-year prison sentence for being convicted of 58 federal money-related counts.

        Also I’m invoking Poe’s Law on this you.

        • Freedom Fries Eater says:

          First off, Hovind has offered that quarter million for years, and every single scientist that has tried to prove evolution has FAILED. Since he’s not dispersed the funds, we can all agree that evolution has NOT been proved otherwise an honorable man like Hovind would have paid up. So MACRO-EVOLUTION = NOT REAL! It’s irrelevant that he’s in jail, and tell me who put him there? Yeah, that’s right your buddy Obama because he recognized Hovind as a threat. Hurts to see the truth, doesn’t it. And we all know how much truthiness there is in Poe’s Law.

  7. Lying all the time takes more brain power, it’s hard to keep all them made up facts straight.

  8. Freedom Fries Eater says:

    Why do conservatives need to lie….It’s the left wingers that make all their crap up.

  9. Patriot says:

    I agree with Herr Fries Eater! Anything that dont fit Bush’s ‘mer’ca must be a Commie plot to let the gays the marry and women vote. Blacks running the country and Chinamen making our tools? Who wont be angry? Right Donkey?
    America, hell yeah!

  10. Patriot says:

    The Bible is the only Law. The earth is 6000 years old. Fact. Homosexuality is abomination. Fact. Anyone who works on Sunday should be put to death (Exodus 31:15). Fact. Its the brainwashing liberal media and you bleeding hearts that cause all the problems.

    • Altair says:

      Its the brainwashing liberal media and you bleeding hearts that cause all the problems.

      Let’s just look at that right there. Bush got us into two wars we could not afford, as a result we wound up with this trillion dollar debt that we currently have. So Obama may not have fixed things but that is hard to do when more then half of our law making congress do not agree with and in fact actively fight what Obama tries to do to fix the economy.

    • Just_Sayin says:

      Exodus is an Old Testament book in the Bible. If you literally want to follow Exodus, then the day of rest is Saturday (the day observed in the Hebrew religion). That’s the actual day referenced in Exodus 31:15. The day was changed to Sunday in the Christian religion to match the day Jesus arose from the dead, the Christian choice of Sunday has absolutely nothing to do with Exodus 31:15. If you truly believe the literal translation in Exodus 31:15, then I hope you’ve never worked a Saturday in your life. But don’t be a slacker on those Sundays mister!

      • Freedom Fries Eater says:

        I live for the day that every American follows the Bible. Jesus is the way the truth the light.

        • Altair says:

          I live for that day that christians go back to elementary school and relearn our history. The first American settlers were fleeing religious persecution by Britain. While the first Americans were not strictly atheistic/non-religious they felt that religion should not dominate the ruling body. Sadly somewhere along the line of america that got twisted around and the vast vast majority of our congress is religious, primarily christian.

        • Freedom Fries Eater says:

          Our founding fathers were theists and they believed in God, the Christian God and our lord and savior Jesus. Once again you’ve been brainwashed by the lame-stream media to believe they were deists, which is not true. In fact, it’s very well known that Thomas Jefferson believed in Jesus and he had a famous bible that’s now in the Smithsonian. I bet your liberal professors didn’t tell you that!

        • Altair says:

          Whether or not the founding fathers were theists, deists or any other belief system doesn’t change the fact that they did not feel like religion should have any say in the way our country is run.
          Lambert (2003) has examined the religious affiliations and beliefs of the Founders. Of the 55 delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention, 49 were Protestants, and two were Roman Catholics (D. Carroll, and Fitzsimons). Among the Protestant delegates to the Constitutional Convention, 28 were Church of England (or Episcopalian, after the American Revolutionary War was won), eight were Presbyterians, seven were Congregationalists, two were Lutherans, two were Dutch Reformed, and two were Methodists.
          A few prominent Founding Fathers were anti-clerical Christians, such as Thomas Jefferson (who created the so-called “Jefferson Bible”) and Benjamin Franklin. Others (most notably Thomas Paine) were deists, or at least held beliefs very similar to those of deists.
          Historian Gregg L. Frazer argues that the leading Founders (Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, Wilson, Morris, Madison, Hamilton, and Washington) were neither Christians nor Deists, but rather supporters of a hybrid “theistic rationalism”.

          Those three links and the block of text contradicts your statement that the founding fathers were theists.

        • Buford says:

          You Sir, are a complete cretin. It is so sad to sde the tragic results of consanguineous relationships. Please do your part to make the human race better and don’t father any offspring, okay?

        • Freedom Fries Eater says:

          I agree with Buford… Altair is a complete cretin. Looks like it’s 2 on 1 here, maybe it’s time Altair admits he’s failed.

    • ....... says:

      Really not sure if this is sarcasm or not……

  11. Anonymous says:

    brains get better the more they are used… just sayin’ (it’s the reason why doing crossword puzzles everyday is an effective mitigation strategy for Alzheimer’s)

    • Anonymous says:

      as someone in a related thread noted, poorly written software puts a lot of unnecessary strain on the processor. just sayin’…

  12. JustUs says:

    It’s funny how this conversation got very “quiet” after the sarcasm and factual accounts came in to break up the mindless banter. 😉 Facts don’t lie, unlike people.

  13. JustUs says:

    …and with science on my side, I too should fear being “wiped from this comment thread”

  14. Freedom Fries Eater says:

    I know it got quiet…because they know the truth about the fact they are brainwashed by public screwl, liberal professors, the left wing media, President Obama, Unions, and all their hippie dippie pot smoking friends to believe democrats are good for what’s America. I know for a fact that once these kids get jobs and see how much Obama is taking out of their paycheck, they will convert one by one.

    • Austin says:

      I honestly don’t think I have heard another person this stupid in my entire life.

      You realize you are rambling on and on in exactly the fashion of a brainwashed person, right?

      Seriously. I laughed out loud at the level of intelligence that was used to come of with this crap.

    • Austin says:

      I just read through some other blog posts… Holy shit man, talk about brainwashed!

      • Freedom Fries Eater says:

        YOU think I’M brainwashed?! Listen to yourself. You are directly negating logic and participating in ad hominem. Try to be civil and don’t pertretrate ad hominem attacks, because you are probably too dim to construct a viable argument.

        • Anonymous says:

          “Try to be civil and don’t pertretrate ad hominem attacks, because you are probably too dim to construct a viable argument.”

          You just couldn’t resist…

    • Altair says:

      I, for one, went to bed because I’m not going to stay up all night debating with a crazy lunatic. And I find it funny that you assume everyone posting on this blog is under the age of 16.

      • Freedom Fries Eater says:

        I’m not assuming they are 16 years old or less. When I say these people don’t have jobs, is because they are probably hippies that can’t get a job, protesters that are whining because they grew up with one too many participation ribbons now expect a job once they get their master of fine arts degree, or people who suckle at the union teet. I’m not the crazy lunatic, you are just jealous that I speak the truth about reality.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I would just like to point out that in this story a group of “intelligent” republicans are implanting *another* persons brain into their family members body… Not that this makes much sense to begin with.

  16. Willy says:

    Boy, you Republicans really are dumb; can’t even get a joke right trying to imply intelligence. One needs to use his/her brain in order to increase/maintain its functionality. There is no such thing as an overworked brain unless caused by stimulants or lack of sleep. Dumbasses.

  17. Anonymous says:

    AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Freedom man, you are priceless! Endless laughs. You can come to my place for dinner anytime, the whole family would have a laugh.

    Case closed he says. hehehe.

    • Freedom Fries Eater says:

      Yeah, they’d have a laugh. They’d be laughing their asses off at you, when they see me take you to town on a discussion about freedom and politics. But until then, maybe you can answer me this: Why do you hate freedom and America? If you don’t like America, why don’t you just pack up and leave?

  18. Anonymous says:

    So you’re a Christian who advocates the murder of millions of men, women and children. What a pleasant chap you are.

  19. ....... says:

    I have a question for you. If Jesus were alive today, would he be a Republican or a Democrat? Honestly, giving away all your possessions, healing the sick, eating with sinners, women, the homeless, and actually washing their feet. This doesn’t sound very Republican to me. Yet it is, in fact, what Christianity is based on. If you can tell me in all sincerity that you have come close to doing a fraction of these things, then you can have this. You can be right, but frankly, based off of your arguments written above, I can deduce that you haven’t even tried these things. You should be ashamed to call yourself a Christian and an American.

    • Freedom Fries Eater says:

      You should be ashamed. Jesus is clearly a Republican. Fucking asshole.

      • ....... says:

        Actually, to be honest. Jesus isn’t anything of the sort. I’m saying that his actions today aren’t similar to Republican behavior. He is neither Democrat nor Republican. He isn’t even American. He didn’t speak English and he wasn’t white. He was an inspirational man who was crucified for what he believes in. The fact that we even argue who is better than who is a problem in itself and I admit to that. If everyone would just agree on things and not to try and stab each other in the back to get the upper hand, we would be closer to being like Jesus. Sadly, it’s in human nature to do so.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Poorly written software taxes the processor.

    • Freedom Fries Eater says:

      Did you mention taxes? I don’t know the story behind this Poorly Written Software thing, but I’m 110% sure Obama is behind it’s taxation. Let’s rally up and contact the white house! It’s time we stop this unnecessary taxing of the American people, who by the way, loves freedom.

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